the righteous man

• SLJ is original Bad Motherfucker his wallet says so!
• Lennox Lewis retired when he heard SLJ was going to do his take on Bob Satterfield. Lewsi didnt want to look bad in the ring .
• SLJ Doesn’t waste his time at MC Donald’s or Wendy’s he prefers Big Kahuna burger’s.
• SLJ Doesn’t give men foot massages.
• Never say WHAT to SLJ.
• SLJ he doesn’t walk with the Shepard.
• SLJ hes The Man.
• SLJ is no ones bitch!
• SLJ is The Guns of Navarone.
• SLJ Doesn’t vote for Pedro!
• SLJ only needs a .45 , he’s the shepherd protecting SLJ’s righteous ass in the valley of darkness.
• SLJ takes a snake on every plane ride he takes , he carries it in his pants.
• “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.” Was never a passage in the bible. Because god never put a man on earth bad enough to use this line till SLJ.
• The only higher being SLJ reports to is Yoda.
• Cocaine, SLJ he kicked it.
• When SLJ gives tips about golfing ,Tiger Woods listens.
• SLJ will never be Moses , hes to busy creating a red sea of blood with his Shepard Mr.45.
• SLJ doesn’t drink no Nancy drinks like Vanilla Soy Lattes.
• Bruce Willis and SLJ team up because they like to say cool shit shoot people say some more cool shit and smoke some cigarettes when there done .
• SLJ know’s what purpose of Stonehenge is.
• Huggy Bear and SLJ are tight.
• SLJ can hit the dimples off a golf ball
• SLJ knows the location of Jimmy Hoofer.
• SLJ understands why glue stick’s don’t stick to the inside of the bottle.
• SLJ knows how Lost ends.
• You NEVER fuck with SLJ’s settings on his car stereo.
• If you clone SLJ and him and his clone where to fight there would be an explosion so large it would make the big bang theory look like a party favour .
• Anyone who has ever dated SLJ’s daughter has end there night at Monster Joe’s Truck and Tow
• SLJ will never team up with Chuck Norris waving arms and legs at people takes to long its quicker to shoot Motherfuckers .
• Red Sky at night means SLJ has been out taking care of business .
• SLJ’s golf swing is so smooth and fluid it creates a vapour trail on the follow through
• The energy from SLJ hitting a golf ball produces carbon emissions
• SLJ walks through Ikea……. from the checkout to the entrance
• SLJ BBQ’s with Napalm
• Kryptonite he sprinkles it on his Wheaties for breakfast
• SLJ can cure the dead with his hands …why the fuck would he cure anyone he shoots
• SLJ never suffers from a bad hair day.
• Sadam wasn’t hiding from George W he was hiding from SLJ
• SLJ is the spiritual advisor to the Dali Lama
• SLJ never has order fucked up when he hits a fast food drive thru
• SLJ has one device it does everything its called iJACKSON and only comes in one color Bad Motherfucker Black !
• Wilt Chamberlain got through so many women because SLJ had to many days off

 

~ by sljbmf on August 31, 2007.